On March 28, 2017, the Washington Post reporter Ashely Parker wrote an article on the role that Karen Pence, Vice President Mike Pence’s wife, plays in his life. Over VP Pence’s career Mrs. Pence has been a close confidant, faithful supporter and ever-present spouse that continually prays for her husband in the background. The article discusses many aspects of Mrs. Pence life and influence on VP Pence, but one issue that gained media attention was that VP Pence does not eat alone with women or go to events that serve alcohol unless his wife is present. VP Pence’s faithfulness to his wife and his desire to set guidelines to preserve his moral integrity is laudable, but his behavior has serious undesirable consequences. His actions routinely disadvantage women and reinforce sexist stereotypes. VP Pence must find ways to keep his healthy marriage without systematically discriminating against half the population.
For non-church attendees, VP Pence’s statement might sound completely crazy, but around the Evangelical Christian community his behavior is not strange. Rather, his cautious approach to women and events that serve alcohol is encouraged and applauded by many churches. On countless occasions, I was told by Pastors to avoid situations where I could become too intimate with a woman who is not my wife. Don’t ride solo in a car with the opposite gender. Don’t work late with a woman. Show no hint of wrong doing. Pastors advise parishioners, especially men, to develop these guardrails to prevent them from overstepping boundaries that could lead to immoral behavior. Most pastors agree that it is not an unforgivable sin for a man and a woman to have a business lunch, but some warn that lunch could snowball into intimacy and adultery. Their counsel stems from an overabundance of cautions. A work friendship could begin as innocent banter over coffee, progress to emotional work dinners and end up in a motel room. It might not happen in one day, but it is easy for small actions to slowly erode our moral foundation. To solidify their point, pastors give countless statistics on marriage infidelity in the USA. By one estimate 41% of married couples admit that at least one of the partners had a physical or emotion affair. Pastors also share stories of how their own colleagues were unfaithful to their spouses, broke apart their families, and destroyed their careers simply because they did not protect themselves from sliding down the hill of lust. Though these rules seem wise, they smack of hypocrisy and reinforce destructive biases. On several occasions, Jesus demonstrated the opposite example of erecting strict guardrails that prevented him from eating with women or attending parties that serve alcohol. In one famous example, Jesus had a one-on-one conversation with a known adulteress (John 4). This was a highly inappropriate situation by the standards of society and people would immediately questions Jesus’ character after this interaction. In other situations, we read that Jesus hung out with prostitutes, criminals, and outcasts (Matthew 9, Luke 19). When the religious leaders of the day question his behavior, Jesus responded “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but the sinner” (Mark 2:17). Jesus clearly did not set guardrails to prevent others from gossiping. In addition, a person who sets these guardrails fails to consider that their actions are a form of discrimination. They exclude women (or any person they deem risky) from receiving equal rights. If a heterosexual businessman only works late with other heterosexual men, then it is very difficult for a woman to progress in the company. She will not be able to work overtime, participate on a specially projects, or show dedication to the firm. Automatically women and gay men are left behind. Over the past few decades, America has tried to erase these antiquated gender barriers, but VP Pence’s policies put up new hurdles disguised as modesty. So, should VP Pence abandon his desire to set boundaries around his marriage and behavior? Of course not. Rather, he should set guardrails that help everyone succeed as opposed to discriminating against certain populations. Instead of only working late with heterosexual men, VP Pence could send everyone home to be with their families. When meeting with colleagues, VP Pence should be professional and maintain a healthy distance regardless of the person’s gender. If a conversation between a male and female coworker is inappropriate, then that conversation is wrong between two male colleagues. Don’t go to any event that has the appearance of impropriety, even if your wife is standing with you. Finding the right balance between work and socializing can be difficult, but as a leader of the country VP Pence can set a new tone for politics that erases the “old boys’ club” and empowers everyone. In today’s misogynistic political and business environment VP Mike Pence’s statements sound honorable, but his actions are not completely innocent. His rules demean and disrespect women and they put Jesus to shame. I urge Karen Pence to continue to pray for her husband, but also help him find ways to empower the women around him. Thomas S. Woodson Comments are closed.
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June 2020
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